Angel Rocks

Concept: This sketch is intended as an antidote to the idea that if we
don't get 'instant' answers to our prayers, then the principle of
prayer itself is somehow at fault. It imagines that the tables have
been turned on a couple of angels; who have been despatched into our
physical universe for 'work experience,' and are now trying to come to
terms with our laws of gravity, etc., having previously only known the
laws and ways of the spiritual realm.

No props are required (mime and gesture should suffice), but initially
careful emphasis should be placed on the title 'Angel', in order to
alert the audience as to who the actors are. Emphasised words should
be pronounced hesitantly, to show that they are unfamiliar terms.
Strict adherence to the script is not necessary: except for the
paragraphs beginning with an asterisk, performers may use whatever
expressions, comments and actions seem most natural in the circumstances.

(Back to 'Loaves and Fishes.')


The sketch opens with Angel Faithful bent almost double and struggling
vainly to lift a large and heavy boulder, accompanied by appropriate
grunts and panting. Angel Constance then wanders in. Constance has
evidently only just arrived in the physical world, and is looking all
around in evident amazement at the surroundings; touching, tasting
(making faces at some of the things tasted), etc. He is so
preoccupied with these things that he does not notice the first angel
and blunders right into him; so that they end up in a heap on the
ground.

Constance:
I'm so sorry, Angel Faithful! I just didn't see you.
(Rising to his feet and offering a hand) Here... let me
help you up. (Faithful takes his hand, gets up carefully
and starts to dust himself down.)
This is such a strange
place! (rubbing his knee) .. and this .. ground .. is so
hard!
Faithful:
Not to worry, Angel Constance. I don't think there's any
harm done.
Constance:
(Suddenly horrified) But your hands ... they're ...
bleeding!
Faithful:
Its just a few spots. Apparently that is not unusual in
this place. It happened while I was trying to ..lift.. this
rock off the path. You have to be very careful of these
pointed edges.
Constance:
But if you wanted the rock to move, why didn't you just
tell it? (Goes over to the rock) I say, old chap, my
friend Angel Faithful here would appreciate it if you would
be kind enough to move off the path. If you could put
yourself down over there, that would do fine. (Waits a few
moments, then gets impatient)
Now look here ... just
because he tried to lift you, there's no need to sulk and
take all day about it. (Waits a bit longer, then turns to
Faithful.)
Is it dead, or something?
Faithful:
I'm not sure: but they certainly don't take any notice of
what you say. If you remember the briefing, we were told
this was to be a 'work experience' to familiarise ourselves
with the laws of the physical world. Our overseer, Angel
Diligence said that the only thing these rocks understood
was gravity - whatever that is - and the only way to move
them was by lifting.
Constance:
Well, I suppose we'd better get on with it then. Here,
let me try. You tell me what to do.
Faithful:
Well, first you stand by the boulder with your legs slightly
apart. (Faithful demonstrates the positions and Constance makes an exaggerated show of copying) Now you squat down, like so ... and reach underneath the rock with both hands
from either side. Good. Now, keeping your back straight and making sure your hands don't slip, you stand up. (Faithful stands, letting his hands fall to his side, to show he was only pretending)
Constance:
(Grunts, heaves and strains for a few moments). I
can't stand! The rock doesn't move!
Faithful:
(Sounding disappointed) That's what happened to me too.

* It seems that this 'lifting' business just doesn't work!

Constance:
But surely we would never be told to do the wrong
thing?
Faithful:
That's what I don't understand. (As Faithful goes on
talking, Constance bends down and picks up a fist-sized
pebble with one hand. Then he looks thoughtfully at it,
raises and lowers his arm a few times and starts to toss
it)
. But I'm sure I have done exactly what Angel Diligence
told me to do. I've even tried a few variations of my own -
and once I even thought I saw it wobble a little bit:
but it
just won't let go of the ground! I just don't know what to
do.
Constance:
Hold on a minute.... Look! This is just a tiny rock;
but I can lift it up without any trouble. I wonder ...
(Looks around) - Yes! That rock over there. Let's see if
I can lift that! (Walks over to new rock, makes a big show
of adopting the correct posture, and lifts it with much
heaving and grunting)
. I did it! (Drops rock, staggering
slightly)
. Lifting does work! That other rock was just too
big; that's all!
Faithful:
Angel Diligence said we would have to work together on this.
* So, perhaps it would work if we both lifted this rock at the
same time? You know, just like we sometimes need to call in
reinforcements when we're up against some of the bigger
demons!
Constance:
Let's give it a try. (They take up position on either
side of the original rock)
Faithful:
Right then, one, two, three .. Lift! (They raise the rock,
stagger a few paces to one side and then drop it again.)
Constance:
Well, we've cracked that one. What do we have to do
next?
Faithful:
See that quarry over there. We've got to move all those
rocks over to where they are starting that building.
Constance:
(After a long pause).

* We'll need a whole squad to shift some of those rocks.
I hope the others get here soon.

(Pause) Oh well, we'd better get started. We could be here
for weeks.(Both exit in direction of quarry).


 

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